Wednesday, September 24, 2008


It happened Monday evening, one day after our one year anniversary of dating. I have to say, I thought it would happen sometime "soonish", but for some reason that night I just wasn't thinking he would pull out the ring just then. Sitting in a booth at Manuel's downtown, a nice quiet night. The waiter was a little clueless about what was going on and kept interrupting us right in the middle of the best parts, but it was okay. My ring belonged to Andrew's mom, Nancy. She passed a way a few years ago. I felt her there in a really strong way. I felt a wave pass over me. Sadness that she won't be here to be my mother in-law. Certainty that she was very much there sending all of her love, and that she will continue to do this. When I walked into the house later that night it felt a little different. Andrew pointed it out, even. 'How do you feel? Feel any different?' 'What do you mean?' Probing him to see what he was picking up on. 'You know, since tonight.' 'Yeah. It does, actually.' Wow, this is real. I'm going to be a married woman. I'm going to be a wife. An insta-mother, even. And maybe even hold my own little bambino sometime next year...

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Carson McCullers

It's 9:18pm and I have to go to sleep soon. I have to get up at around 5:30am tomorrow. My boss is picking me up at 7am and we are headed to a meeting in San Antonio that starts at 9am. It's hard for me to go to bed so early. I'm not sleepy. I can hear the Dallas Cowboy game on in the living room down the hall. Every now and then I can hear Andrew let out a shout or a pained sound. He's been quiet for a little while now so I'm guessing the game is going okay. I've been in the bedroom lying on our bed reading The Heart is a Lonely Hunter by Carson McCullers. She is, hands down, my absolute favorite author. The plainness of her writing. Her innocent perception. She was downright uncanny. I find myself wondering about how she labored. What was her method? Did she hand-write? Use a typewriter? Afterall this was the 50s. I wonder if it was difficult for her to write such a wonderful masterpiece at such a young, young age. She was 23 when she wrote it. Reading her work makes my heart ache for all that I've never said, for all that I've never written. She makes me long to see. Plainly, clearly. Fully. The photo of her on the book's cover shows a sad, lonely, watery-eyed girl. Her face is long. Her cheeks are full but droopy. Her lips are pursed as if she about to whisper something. There are circles around her eyes. Her eyebrows are raised in an attentive way. It's impossible to tell whether she's looking directly at the camera or not. Her left eye has the smallest shift outward while her right seems centered. There's a dreaminess about her expression. She sits on a hill in field of flowers, but the photo is black and white and so it almost looks like weeds instead. She was a troubled girl, and a troubled woman, who committed suicide when she was in her 50s. So pained and lonely. So powerfully talented.

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Austin Austin

Sometimes it takes an out of town visitor to make you stop and take the time to appreciate where you live. Since Gloria got here Friday evening she and I have been exploring the best of Austin, and I've gotten to see it through her eyes. Friday evening we went to Hula Hut for dinner and she got to see Lake Travis. Saturday we went to Whole Foods and she marveled at the size of our world headquarters. Then we saw "Vicki Cristina Barcelona" at the Alamo Drafthouse on South Lamar, went to Room Service and then the shops on South Congress. We ate dinner at Sandra Bullock's Bess on 6th Street, then saw Guy Forsyth perform at the Continental Club. Today we ate migas at Taqueria Jalisco on Cesar Chavez (the first time for her to try migas!), took a drive around Austin, had lunch at P.F. Chang with my dad, David, Kaysie, and Kaysie's sister, then had massages at Massage Envy at 4pm. Then we went back to Whole Foods so Gloria could have a little snack, then back home to relax until we had a little something at Magnolia Cafe. Tomorrow she'll take me to work in the morning and I'm letting her tool around in my car all day until she picks me at 5 (maybe I'll have her pick me up at lunchtime and we'll go to the Domain). Then I'll drive her to the airport for her flight out so she can get there by 6.

This is the most fun I've had in Austin in a long time....

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

It'll be a boy!

My sister Mariana found out today that she's going to have a baby boy! She's due sometime near the end of January. I can't believe she's already half way through her pregnancy. Time is really flying.

It seems like only yesterday that she was a little baby herself. it's been a while!

To me, I guess she'll always be a little girl. But I can't convey how excited I am to see that brand new little baby and hold him in my arms.

They still don't know what they're going to name him, although she and Chris are both into those yuppie names that sound like major appliances, you know, like that Republican weirdo's kids' names like Trig, Track, Truck...they're really preppie and in vogue right now. Everybody wants to be "different". That's okay, I'll love him no matter what name he has!

I'll probably just call him "mijo"! ;)

Monday, September 1, 2008

what I smell like....

Vanilla. I try other scents but I keep coming back to you. I've been wearing Comptoir Sud Pacifique vanillas for probably ten years now. I still have my first bottle that used to come in the most beautiful aqua colored frosted glass. Sadly they're now all bottled in aluminum...not quite as eye catching. But no matter. I'm still in love with all of their vanillas. Today I bought Vanille Peach and I'm crazy about it. I used to be hooked on Vanille Abricot (still am), but there's something about this vanilla peach combo. It smells like a warm peach cobbler, my favorite dessert. This is how it's described: "Notes of Peach Juice, Hibiscus, Vanilla Cream, Tahitian Vanilla, Brown Sugar, Coconut Milk, Musk. Style: Innocent. Sexy. Delicious."

The only other perfume that rivals my love for these sumptuous vanillas is...Chanel No. 5. There's a new version out called Eau Premiere. It's lighter and fresher. I have to have it! Soon!


The Nest magazine has a great article in it this month that has given me great inspiration for my new decorating endeavors.

The blue room is my inspiration in our bedroom, and the other is for the studio. I'm so excited!

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